The Kids

I have had the pleasure of meeting someone who's certainly a bigger green geek than I am.  Said someone is also a personality that tends to bring out my competitive side.  Fashioning myself a bit of a green thumb for no other reason than any plant I ignore thrives or at least lives (the minute I turn my attention to them is when they meet their ultimate demise you see), I have found myself collecting more and more houseplants.  I suspect the cat may even start to be getting jealous as my daily ritual of spritzing and watering has replaced the traditional "throw the toilet water soaked mouse toy" game of yester-year.

My first new addition was a tiny orchid I will here name Hugo.  A tiny frail thing, I was informed that it would die within the month of root rot and that I should relish living in an age of disposable beauty.  I was of course appalled that someone would add to their carbon footprint in such a manner (as if fashionable at this time) and more-so motivated by my affinity towards the underdog .  It became my mission to keep this tiny orchidling alive - nay - thriving against all odds.  I promptly started to ignore it.

Hugo bloomed and bloomed and bloomed his little heart out.  When he stopped I promptly snipped off his flower thingamijig to the horror of everyone around me.  I figure he can use a rest from the pressures of blooming and concentrate on living.  As the months went on it became apparent that Hugo was outgrowing his tiny pot.  He was literally spilling over the sides so I decided - against all advice given - to repot him in the dead of winter. After such a radical burst of attention I shall have to put him in a room by himself and never so much as peek in if he's going to survive.

As Hugo had finished with his blooming and he had to be ignored so that he may live, I collected an assortment of other plants.  A cycad, several succulents, a purple fuzzy thing that grows fuzzier every time the cat nuzzles up to it pleading for it to play toilet mouse, and two more orchids, and a pineapple top.

I will add pictures of the other two orchids so that we may now all bask in their glory - for I have just re-potted them as well and this splendor is sure to be short-lived.

Nestled in there you will see there's also an African Violet as well..

As stated prior, I am also attempting to rear a pine-apple.  Easier said than done in the harsh winter climate of western Canada.  They're a touch tedious to start but a remarkable plant once they get going.  All one has to do to have their very own pineapple is .. well... buy a pineapple.  But after you buy it and before you get to enjoy it, you rip the top off and peel back the bottom 3 - 6 rows of leaves.  As you remove them you will expose roots that the fruit has already started to develop in anticipation of landing on tropical soil.  Firmly push the pineapple top into a pot of moist, moderately packed soil, and water.

The pineapple top will slowly begin to look terrible.  Cut the terrible bits off as they form and soon you'll have a stumpy looking thing much like this.  Patience however is key, for after this ugly stage the top will begin to turn back to green from the sickly nursing home beige you've grown to abhor by this point.  New growth will begin near the centre and then it's only a matter of time until you have a dark green broad plant.  The leaves on the healthy plant are extremely sharp, be forewarned.



And that, dear friends, is how I keep myself busy when I am feeling too damn lazy to work on any of the canvases laying scattered around my house.